Monday, January 9, 2012

Personality Trait

Wow this one is a tuffy.  This is what happens when you let your 10 yo pull a prompt out of the jar and you have to take what she gives you.

"What personality trait of your has gotten you into the most trouble?"

I think that what gets me into the most trouble can often be a positive trait unless you take it too far and that is the trait of wanted to be a peacemaker.  Maybe a more negative name would be people pleaser.  I'm not talking about brown-nosing to get ahead or to make yourself look better in someone else's eyes though.  I'm talking about not wanting others to be upset, to see everyone happy, to have people come together, to not wanting someone else to be disappointed, and/or wanting to make things all okay for the other person.  This tendency leads to saying yes to things you should say no to and that is where I can get into trouble.  It's getting in the middle or trying to fix things so that the normal consequences might be blocked.  It can lead to feeling burned out and burdened.  It can leave me feeling like I'm always giving and not always receiving.  That sentence sounds selfish and self serving but that's not how it was meant.  (Or maybe this is just a example of what I'm trying to say.  I don't want someone to think I'm being selfish or putting myself ahead.)  I will have to be honest here and say that in last few years I've gotten better about taking a stand but it's also easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior as well.  I don't want to large and in charge because frankly that's not how I'm wired and maybe in trying to fix it, smooth it over, or get it done so everyone is happy that I end up taking on the position of being in charge and after a while I'm worn out from the effort.  The reaction to this is to sort of shut down and then not take care of anything even the stuff that is under my "job description".  Not sure of the answer but maybe thinking it through and being more self aware is a good first step.

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